Confidence Coaching with Ed McCosh

2011-05-08T03:42:00.001-07:00

Taking a break from writing blogs here, but coaching, books and CDs still available!

Overcoming challenges

2009-09-26T04:17:00.000-07:00

Is it that hard?

Change your perspective.

Have you heard of Bethany Hamilton? Just over one year after losing an arm in a shark attack, she took 1st place in the NSSA National Championships.

Click here and watch this video clip of this inspiring guy too.

Perhaps these stories will help you see your challenges differently.

Then click here to see some more facts about your life that will show you how lucky you are.

The power of music

The next time you want to change how you feel, why not put on some inspiring and uplifting music?

Very simple, but music has the power to transform your mood.

We've all had the experience of being moved or energised by a certain song, so use this gift more often!

More tips

For more ideas on feeling happier get one of my books (click here).

Or get in touch to learn more about being happy in yourself and living the life you want.

Look forward to hearing from you!

Being happy and motivated

2009-08-26T04:17:00.000-07:00

Read on for a couple of simple tips to improve your happiness and motivation.

How to be happier

A recent study of nearly 30,000 people showed that thinking about one positive thing from the day before resulted in a 15% increase in happiness.

I'd recommend writing this down - a journal of things you're grateful for and pleased about. It's very easy to do and it will build momentum in the direction you want to go.

Give it a try for a week!

Get motivated!

A key factor in motivation is believing that your efforts will produce the result that you want.

Rather than looking at the times you might have been unsuccessful, focus on inspirational stories of others - just like you - who have overcome challenges to achieve what they want.

Click here to see a great video clip with a few short examples to inspire you.

Don't pretend that you're different and that you can't do it. You can.

Is it true?

2009-07-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

How do you change something in your life? It starts by changing your thoughts. Read on to learn a few tips on how to do this.

Feeling worried?

If you're feeling worried about anything ask yourself:

"Can I be sure that this is 100% true?"

Since we can very rarely be 100% sure (after all they used to think the world was flat), start to let go of any worry now.

If what you've been saying to yourself might not be true (and isn't making you feel good), then of course it would be a good idea to replace it with something else!

And even if you're not sure that the more positive statement is true, it's better to believe that one than the other, right?

'I've tried that..'

Sometimes people tell me that they've tried to be more positive, but that it's hard, or that it hasn't worked for them yet.

This doesn't mean that it isn't working; if you eat 3 Mars Bars you don't immediately become overweight.

You can't see the impact straight away. But if you keep eating 3 Mars Bars a day, at some point you WILL see a change.

Similarly, sometimes it takes a little time to truly accept a new belief. Start to have some faith that it will work, even when you can't yet see the results.

Walk on the wild side

Henry David Thoreau says it well:

"A single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single path will not make a single pathway in the mind.

To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again.

To make a deep mental path, we must make over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."

Make a change

Write down something you've been worrying about and then the new belief you want to replace it with.

Repeat your new belief and look for evidence to build it up for the next 21 days (just 30 seconds at the start of every day) and you'll notice a change.

Look forward to hearing about your progress!

Remember:
"You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it" - Albert Einstein

What we can learn from our holidays

2009-06-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

Read on to learn how our holidays show us that we have more influence over what happens in our lives than we think.

Every day should be a holiday!

Have you ever noticed how when we go on holiday we generally manage to do all the things that we planned to do?

Regardless of setbacks we stay pretty positive, we're resourceful and flexible and we're determined to make the most of our time.

The result of this attitude - and a bit of planning - is that we get what we want!

What if you applied the same attitude to the rest of your life?

Perhaps you are realising that you have more control over your life than you think?

Seeing is believing?

Sometimes it can feel like we're doing the right things, but not getting the results we want. First of all check that your thoughts and beliefs are in line with what you want (it's much easier for you to do this with the objective viewpoint of a coach).

In terms of having beliefs that support your goals, what is the one thing that if you believed it would change your situation?

It's also good to keep in mind that if you wanted to get home and were driving back along a beautiful road, most of the time you wouldn't be at home yet! But you'd still take time to enjoy the journey. You can also think of it this way; you wouldn't go to a restaurant, skip the food and ask for the bill!

So it's quite normal that you can't see the final result of all your work yet. Keep going!

Your plan of action

The crazy thing is that most people plan their holidays with more care than they plan their lives!

I'll help you work out what you want and ways to achieve it. You can often benefit from being accountable (so you're more likely to take action) and from some encouragement too!

Get in touch to book a series of coaching sessions now to improve your situation or buy one of my books.

The link between optimism and financial success

2009-05-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

Read on to find out how being optimistic will help you financially!

Optimism helps your career

The Metropolitan Life Insurance Company studied their salesmen and found that those in the top 50% for optimism made 37% more sales.

Similarly, those in the top 10% for optimism made 88% more sales than the lowest 10% (the pessimists.)

So being positive is clearly good for your wallet as well as your health.

Ever struggled to be more positive?

Have you ever been tried to just 'be more positive?'

Without the right approach people can find this difficult. Why? Imagine that you were told that a certain Christmas figure wasn't real, but presents kept magically appearing and the key people involved kept up the illusion...

We believe what we see, until we have evidence that shows us a different reality.

"It is not enough to do your best you must know what to do, and THEN do your best."
- W. Edwards Deming

The Santa Effect

However, once you have learned the truth, you can't see the situation the same way. You remember what it felt like, but it just feels different.

With the right evidence and help you can change the way you feel about whatever you like.

Recent testimonial

It's much easier to do this when you have a coach. Click here to learn why.

Here is a recent testimonial:

"I owe Ed a lot. He helped me overcome my fear of public speaking. We met at a networking event and I ended up speaking at the next event in front of 100 young entrepreneurs.

Thanks Ed! I definitely recommend his services and will use him again."

Think about how coaching will help you finally make the changes you've been putting off.

Get in touch to book a series of coaching sessions now to improve your situation or buy one of my books.

Ways to feel good

2009-04-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

Everything we do is about feeling good. It's worth keeping this in mind when we come across challenges and setbacks. Wouldn't it make more sense to adopt a more cheerful attitude to whatever happens?

Read on for a few simple ways to change the way that you feel, regardless of your current situation.

What can you be grateful for?

It can be easy to focus on what we don't have; there are certainly lots of messages in the news doing this.

Therefore it's a good idea to look at what we do have.

Click here to watch a quick clip that will give you a different perspective.

Imagine you're an orange

Whenever I say this, people tend to give me a strange look. Let me explain; if you squeeze an orange, what comes out? Juice, right?

Why? Because that's what is inside it.

Well it's the same for humans. (I don't mean that juice comes out of us when you squeeze us - well not orange juice anyway.)

What I mean is that when we're under pressure, whatever is inside us comes out.

Take control

Choose what you accept from TV, newspapers, people and so on.

Start now by writing a quick list of:

1. things you're grateful for
2. things you're proud of
3. things that give you hope.

And read books that fill you with positive messages.

Better to let anger out?

2009-03-26T01:28:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed how often people say things such as "They upset me", "I couldn't help it", "It irritated me" and so on.

A lot of people think that it's better to express their anger, to 'let it out' so they will be calmer afterwards.

It's actually been proven that:

- blood pressure goes up with expressed anger

- but down when it is 'suppressed' (or at least not expressed out loud*)

Read on to learn how to have more control over how you feel.

First things first

You can choose your thoughts. Rather than allowing your happiness and effectiveness to be decided by external factors, focus on choosing your reaction to what happens.

This doesn't mean never having a negative emotion again. It just means recognising that you can either continue to feel bad (and let it get worse) - or you can find a way to let it go.

Read on for a couple of tips on how to let go.

Being mentally strong

1. Be aware that you have been focusing on unhelpful thoughts.

2. Realise that you can replace them just as easily as you allowed them in.

When you choose your reaction you can be calm, happy and peaceful regardless of the outer world.

Quick tip for letting go

Try this now:

1. Look up

2. Smile

3. Hold it for 7 seconds

It's almost impossible to do this and feel angry or down at the same time. Easy, but effective!

Staying positive

2009-02-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

I'm always telling the people I work with to be aware of their self talk (and naturally to keep it positive).

If you've wondered why what you say to yourself is important, you'll benefit from this story.

The secret ingredient

Let's imagine someone made you some delicious cookies. And just before you were about to eat one, they said that they'd used the usual recipe, except that they'd substituted one ingredient for some dog poo.

How appealing (or should that be appalling) would the cookie be?

The rules

You may have heard of the 'law of correspondence' which is best explained by the phrase 'as within, so without'.

This means that your outer world (ie the job you are in, your health and happiness) is merely a reflection of your inner world (your thoughts, beliefs, and values).

So if you want to make a change on the outside you must first make a change on the inside.

Choose carefully

So be selective about what you put into your mind, and what you choose to say out loud.

When someone asks how you are why not copy Zig Ziglar and say 'Better than good'. Many people who've adopted this attitude have gained promotions and more.

If you can't think of anything positive to say, then don't say anything. Start to become aware of how often you complain about something - i.e. "I'm so tired" - as though that will make it better!

Making New Habits Stick

2009-01-26T12:23:00.000-08:00

How are your New Year's Resolutions going? Perhaps you didn't even make any because you've tended to break them quickly?

Read on to learn a couple of tips about how to make changes stick.

Mañana...

Think about the times when you put things off. It's amazing how often not now becomes never.

We often allow ourselves 'exceptions.' We justify them by saying things such as "Today I didn't eat healthily.. " or "I didn't take action on this task today.. - ..and nothing dramatic happened", so it's ok and I can do it again tomorrow." The odd exception is ok, but over time these things do count.

Basics for new habits

Develop new habits by developing positive rituals.

A positive ritual is a behaviour that becomes automatic over time motivated by a deeply held value.

i.e. brushing your teeth twice a day on autopilot (not an effort to remember as you do it at the same point each day) - compelled by a health value.

In order to build rituals you need to:

- define precise behaviours
- and perform them at set specific times
- motivated by very deeply held values

Protect these rituals as you would any other important meeting in your diary (or they won't last.)

One step at a time

Remember that "nothing fails like excess!" Don't try to make too many changes at once. Do things in small and manageable increments.

Pushing too hard increased the likelihood that you will give up. You only have so much will power / conscious control. Make one significant change at a time.

Key ingredients

Do something different. Don't just think about it. Take different action, starting by writing some new rituals into your daily schedule - and do it today!

Why fear and faith are the same

2008-12-22T03:13:00.000-08:00

Fear and faith are the same; they both require you to believe that something will happen in the future.

Rather than worrying about something, why not look forward to it instead, in the same way that you look forward to eating your favourite food, or going on holiday?

A belief is just something that we repeat to ourselves regularly and look for evidence to support it.

Scientific proof that being positive helps

In his latest book "How your mind can heal your body", David Hamilton refers to a study that clearly shows that optimism is better for your health.

The study showed that 'optimists had a 45% lower risk of death from any cause' and a 77% lower risk of heart disease!

It won't hurt to try to be more optimistic - but it will hurt if you don't...

Quick action step

1. Write down a positive belief about yourself.

2. Now start looking for things that back it up.

Stick with it - with repetition you'll notice a change!

Staying calm

2008-11-26T04:40:00.000-08:00

Many people would say they aren't angry - but when we're honest most of us will benefit from learning to be calmer - whether it's at home, at work, in the car, over the weather, the financial climate... or on the golf course! Read on to learn why it's important for you to stay calm.

Anger can be bad for you

We know that it's not great for us to be angry. But sometimes we need to be reminded that it can have negative impact on our health before we change our behaviour.

For example, just by making angry facial expressions your heartbeat goes up by about 10-12 beats. Similarly it's been shown that getting angry can depress your immune system.

More reasons to change

You have more chance of persuading or motivating someone when you are calm. Think about it - when someone is angry towards you are you open to their suggestions or defensive?

Become aware of how often you are waiting for the other person to stop talking so that you can set them straight, according to your model of the world.

This is a bit like going to a corrective shoe shop because you have problems with your feet, only for the sales person to try to correct your problem with their own shoes, repeating "I've had these for 10 years and they work for me."

Instead really listen to what they are saying, so that you can understand how they feel and empathise with them.

You can only influence someone effectively once you have gained understanding and rapport with them.

"People don't care how much you know...
until they know how much you care."

Quick action steps

Smile. It opens up many doors. Consider these facts from a recent survey by Wrigley's:

- 90% of British adults think a smile makes a person more attractive

- 68% say they are more likely to speak to someone they didn't know because of their smile

- and 96% see a smile as very important to someone's overall appearance.

It's been found that you can improve your mood simply by smiling more often.

Try it now - look up and smile for a few seconds and notice how it helps you feel good.

Attitude vs Skills

2008-11-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Read on to learn why attitude is more important than skills or experience.

Attitude = success

Skills are important but your success is far more dependent on your attitude.

Firstly, tough times don't last, but tough people do.

Think about it - if John has the best sales technique in the world, but lacks the motivation to USE it - Sarah will outsell him every time, if she IS motivated to use her average sales pitch on a regular basis.

Further proof

Let's imagine you get a voicemail message from a friend you haven't seen for a while, saying how much they value your friendship and advice and how they admired what you do.

Do you think you'd be more effective in what you did that day?

And yet you haven't learned any new skills or gained any experience. You just improved your attitude.

Make better use of your time

2008-10-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

Read on to learn how to make better use of your time.

Bad decisions

Many people waste time worrying about whether they should do something, how they should do it... and what might go wrong!

When we feel uncertain and try to make decisions we rarely choose the best option, nor do we make the best use of our time.

Better decisions

The way you feel is linked to the way that you use your body. So rather than sitting with your head down, shoulders forward or in a tense position, follow these quick steps:

Step 1 - Sit or stand with your head up, shoulders back and breathe deeply, to get yourself into a confident frame of mind

Step 2 - Then ask yourself what you want to happen (not what you don't want to happen.) Repeat the above steps regularly to ensure that you are focusing on the right things rather than wasting time.

This is very simple and quick to do, but it will make a big difference to your productivity.

It's about making decisions based on what is the best logical choice for you, rather than your emotions (whether you feel like it etc.)

You can also use this to decide whether you really want that extra piece of chocolate...

The Effect of Complaining

2008-08-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

How it affects you
You may remember from previous newsletters that it's important to focus on what you want to happen (not what you don't want / don't have.) Complaining focuses on the things that you don't want! This leads to more things that you don't want showing up in your life.

Why people complain

Misery loves company and it also looks for validation from it.
Low self esteem part I - they want to criticise others to make themselves feel superior. It's like bragging - I'm better than 'x'.
Low self esteem part II - we complain to make ourselves appear more discriminating - i.e. this food is not up to my high standards etc.
It becomes a competitive sport for sympathy and attention - i.e. 'You think that's bad, well I.." It's also about having an excuse for not having something you want, which is a victim mentality. We complain to get ourselves out of things and avoid taking risks.
Complaining is safe - it's a low level of energy and is not threatening to anyone; it doesn't call on them to take any risky action. Instead it puts up barriers that keep them safe in their comfort zone and justify their lack of action.

Self esteem and complaining

You'll notice that a few of the reasons above are linked to low self esteem. People often complain to avoid taking action because deep down they doubt their ability to succeed. Anything you desire you deserve. Stop complaining and start moving towards your dreams.

Action step

Look out for times when you are tempted to complain. Rather than complaining, look for a solution or choose not to express your complaint out loud. This doesn't mean you can't improve things. If your food is cold, then it's ok to ask the waiter to heat it up. Just don't add in the adjectives about how this is terrible etc. They don't help your cause.

Positive thinking

2008-07-08T03:52:00.000-07:00

How positive thinking will benefit you and how to do it more often.

How it affects you

Positive thinking alone won't let you do "anything." i.e. I'm not a doctor and if I were to operate on you, I'd be positive about it, but I don't think it's a good idea...

However, it's definitely true that positive thinking will let you do "everything" better than negative thinking will.

When you walk into a dark room and turn the light on the room is immediately brighter. Pressing the switch did not generate the electricity; it released the electricity which had been stored.

Positive thinking works that way - it releases the abilities which you have.

How to be more positive

We all think in pictures to some extent. For example, if I say 'Dog', you don't say 'd-o-g' - dog. You see a dog.

The thing is people often see negative pictures: i.e. "If I don't get to sleep now I'm going to be tired" - and you start visualising how tired you'll be the next day.

Instead imagine yourself sleeping well and feeling rested the next day.

Imagine things the way you want them to happen. You must see yourself as being able to be successful. This is easier when you are confident in your ability to succeed.

Quick action step

Write down what you want to happen in certain situations. Then take a moment to see yourself being successful in these things.

It's been shown that just by visualising yourself doing something successfully you improve your performance by up to 25%!

Look out for times when you imagine yourself in negative situations or see yourself being held back.

It will be even better to book a series of coaching sessions now to let go of negativity and become more positive about what you can do.

What do you believe about yourself?

2008-07-08T03:49:00.000-07:00

"The size of your success will never exceed the size of your belief" - Denis Waitley

How beliefs effect you

Beliefs are just thoughts that have been repeated many times - but they tend to come true.

So for example you might want to change "I'm always late" to "I'm always on time."

Beliefs about mistakes

A lot of people tend to be afraid of making mistakes.

Did you know that the average millionaire has been in bankruptcy or near bankruptcy over 3 times?

Failure is like fertiliser for success. It stinks but you need it!

The next time you make a mistake remember that it's ok to make a mistake and that you can learn and grow from it.

Speed up your failure rate

Why? You can learn from your failures and do things differently. If you get another failure you try something different again. Therefore, if you fail enough times you will eventually get it right.
You are much more likely to achieve success this way, rather than trying to avoid mistakes and action.

What you can do

Write down any limiting beliefs you have about yourself. What things would you like to believe instead?

Book a series of coaching sessions to let go of frustration, disappointment, anxiety / stress and to develop the belief you need to succeed.

Re-programming

2008-07-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

Read on to learn why people can often be negative.

Being positive

Being positive about life is not an accident. It is something you develop on a daily basis.I was recently on the phone with a friend when he asked about a mutual friend we have who has experienced coaching. He asked "Why hasn't he achieved the same success as some of your clients?" I replied that the thing is he hasn't been exposed to much coaching. He's had an occassional coaching session and receives a newsletter once a month. But he's not part of a regular coaching programme. So he's spent around 2.5 hours once a year, but then he goes back to thousands of hours worth of negative programming. They aren't great odds!

Be aware

You need to be aware of negative programming on TV, in newspapers, on the radio and from many of the people around you.Even if you're careful about what you subject yourself to there is still a lot of negative programming around you. So what are you doing to counteract this programming?

How often do you wash?

Think of it this way. You take a bath today and you are clean... ...but you still need a bath again tomorrow!

What you can do

Choose your programming. Buy positive books and look for success stories and courses to help you. Of course booking a series of coaching sessions to let go of negative emotions and beliefs will help too.

Positive Programming Action Step

1: Think of something that you want to do, but have been putting off.
2. Write down all the reasons why you think you can't or shouldn't do it.
3. Turn every reason that you just listed in part 2 into a positive statement.

Remember:"You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it" - Albert Einstein

Good Vibrations

2008-07-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

Your magnetic thoughts
As you may know, you attract what you focus on.So it's a good idea to focus on the things that you want to happen - not those which you don't want to happen, or things that you don't have.

When we focus on areas where we lack something we vibrate at a frequency that attracts more things that match this lack. If we don't change the way we feel, then our thoughts alone won't help us get what we want - feeling negative and being aware of what we want isn't enough. This is like trying to force two unmatched pieces of a puzzle together.So it's not just about being aware of what you want - you also need to change the way you feel, so that you combine positive feelings with positive thoughts.

How to change Pt I
It can be hard to move directly from a strong negative emotion to a strong positive one. Instead ask yourself what would help you feel just slightly better, even if it's still a negative and move up the scale this way.

How to change Pt II
Of course a having a session to let go of negative emotions will help, but also be aware of negative programming on TV, newspapers and from other people. Choose your programming by reading positive things and finding people who encourage you. Furthermore if it feels good to think about something then keep doing it!

Understanding motivation

2008-03-26T03:44:00.000-07:00

Pleasure or pain?

In terms of motivation, we either move towards something we'd like or away from something we don't like. And we tend to move away from pain before we move towards pleasure. For example, if you were locked in a room you'd be more motivated to try to get out if the room was on fire than if there was a financial reward. So if there's an area where you want to take action, think of the consequences of not acting to get yourself moving.

Beware the trap

Beware of only using away from motivation for yourself (or others.) For example, if your aim is 'not to be broke' then you'll be motivated to work until you aren't broke, but then your desire tails off - until you are near broke again. Similarly if someone's motivation is 'not to lose their job', then they will work just hard enough not to lose their job.

Use away from motivation to start taking action and then towards motivation to continue taking action.

What stops you

Sometimes we don't take action because part of us believes that taking action could lead to more pain than doing nothing. In reality this is very rarely the case, but it can be hard to see things differently by yourself.

How to change

I will help you get over what is holding you back and develop a balanced motivation strategy.

If you want something to be different, here's a tip: Do something different! Simple, yet highly effective. So often people want to make a change, but keep doing the same thing. Get in touch now for new ideas and results.

Breaking the mould

2008-03-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

Stress points

Just now the most common thing that people say when they come to see me is that they are stressed! Often this comes from a fear of whether or not they will be able to deal with situations at work or at home. And we all know that sometimes you can rationally say that your fear doesn't make sense, but it just won't go away.

Same old story

Have you ever noticed how 90% of your thoughts today are the same as they were yesterday! And if you didn't find a way to feel better then, are you likely to find a solution today with the same approach? This limits the enjoyment in your life! It's like repeating a series of wrong turns each time you get into your car and wondering why you never arrive at your destination!

What can you do?

When faced with challenges, rather than finding trying something different, we often repeat the same patterns of behaviour, just with even more determination! Which is a bit like shouting the same instructions louder if to a foreigner who doesn't understand.

After a recent session a client who was under stress said:"Thank you so much - I was skeptical but I'm really pleased now!"

Notice your thoughts. What are you going to do differently to break your old patterns now?

The impact of your unconscious tone

2008-03-26T03:37:00.000-07:00

Avoiding conflict

A recent study of the way that doctors talk to their patients revealed the importance of the way we speak to people.

The recording of their voices was scrambled so that their words couldn't even be heard. It was only possible to hear their intonation, pitch & rhythm. By examining the more unconscious parts of the doctor's voices it was possible to tell which doctors got sued and which didn't.
The overly dominant ones who unconsciously showed less respect & understanding for their patients tended to be sued.

How this affects you

Begin to be more aware of how you are communicating with those around you.

Get in touch to let go of the unconscious reasons that prevent you being able to let go of your frustrations about certain people or situations.

Re-New Year Resolutions

2008-01-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

How you can make your new year's resolutions stick...(...even if you've broken them already!)

Ask yourself:
1. What do I wish I had done last year?
2. What do I want to do differently?
3. Is this going to be a year to be remembered?

Deciding what to do:

Sometimes we chop and change too often - before the seeds we have sown have had time to grow. This doesn't mean that new goals shouldn't be considered; just that you may be better considering how to build on effort, money and time already spent.

After all, it's easier to ride a wave in the direction it's already going!

Taking action:

You know how it is - you start off with good intentions, but before you know it you're back in old habits. There are various reasons for this:

Sometimes we have a false sense of security - a feeling that there is always next week.

Or perhaps you have an inner conflict about achieving your goal. For example, if you want to earn more money, but deep down believe that rich people are greedy then you have a problem!

Or maybe you don't believe that you can do it!

How I will help you:

I will help you identify what holds you back from achieving what you want & develop your ideal motivation & action plan, that will work for you.

Remember:

"You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it" - Albert Einstein

So get in touch now to make this a year you can feel really good about.

Where are you?

2007-12-11T05:10:00.000-08:00

Lack of action eventually leads to problems.

A frog that is put into boiling water would jump straight out. But when the heat slowly builds he doesn't realise until it's too late.

Where are the areas where the heat is slowly building up in your life?

Make progress now

You have to maintain your mind in the same way that you get your car serviced. Otherwise you risk it breaking down! And sometimes you have to learn something new in order to make progress.

A common mistake we make in our thinking

2007-11-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

The mistake

A recent study at the University of California found that thinking privately about negative events leads to reductions in satisfaction with life and a failure to make changes.

On the other hand, participants who talked about a negative event in an effective way showed improved happiness and wellbeing.

Learning from your mistakes

"The only time life gets better is when you admit something is wrong" - General Schwarzkopf, US Marines (when asked why 'ok' wasn't enough for his troops)

Coaching isn't necessarily about letting go of negative things - it's often about wanting more too.

Do you seek out specialists who will help you learn from others mistakes.... or do you insist on making your own....?

Make progress now

Those who do not learn from their past are bound to repeat it. And you probably aren't even aware of what it is that is really holding you back.

Coaching will help you make progress much more quickly than trying to work it out for yourself.

Remember:"You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it" - Albert Einstein....

...so get in touch now to start thinking your way to more confidence and success.

Achieve your goals

2007-09-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

There are proven ways to set goals (i.e. your resolutions and business targets) that end in success, although many people either don’t know them or apply them correctly.

A coach will help you set goals the ‘SMART’ way, including what will really motivate you to take action. In a class of Yale students in 1953, only 3% did this. By 1973 the same 3% had 97% of the wealth.

Imagine the effect of applying this technique to your own personal targets in your relationships, your business or your sport.

Learning to fly

2007-09-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

"This coaching thing really works".

A client I worked with recently was so nervous about presentations and flying that he suffered panic attacks. So imagine how he felt about having to fly down south to give a presentation!

After one session his fear dropped from a 9/10 to a 0/10 and he was calm before and during his flight. Once he arrived he felt very calm about his presentation too - despite a bigger audience than expected - and it went really well.

The power of your beliefs

2007-09-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

What is really holding you back from being as successful as you can be?

Your unconscious mind contains your beliefs, which play a major part in everything you do (or don't do!).

Not sure about the power of beliefs? Well, back in 1953 the '4 minute mile' was considered physically impossible by doctors. So when Roger Bannister finally broke the record in 1954, it was considered that this record was a one-off.

Yet within a year, 32 other runners broke his record, and now this 'impossible' time is regularly run by school athletes! You will only perform within the mental boundaries which you have accepted.

The voices inside your head

2007-09-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

Are you hearing voices? Actually we all are. We all have an internal dialogue which runs throughout the day. Often it says things like:"Why I am so tired?","Why do I get so angry?","Why does this have to be so difficult?","They won't buy this","I wish I didn't have to go to work" and so on! Even on good days many people unknowingly use language that doesn't support how they want to feel.

For example, people often use the phrase 'Not too bad' when they mean they're ok or even that they're well. The problem with this is that your unconscious mind ignores the 'not' part. So it just hears 'bad'. You can test it now: Don't picture a sunny day.

A friend of mine, Richard Wilkins says: "Life is like a sausage machine - you get out what you put in!" The things you say to yourself are the ingredients for your life.

How do you really see yourself?

2007-09-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

When you look in the mirror at your reflection, what and who do you see?

What are the situations when you feel less confident? Where you see that childhood nickname, those past failures, painful regrets, second place?

Your view of yourself affects your success in life. It's true that success is the combination of belief and time. The more belief you have, the less time it takes.

So get in touch now to replace your fear or stress with confidence.

Same old story

2007-09-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how 90% of your thoughts today are the same as they were yesterday!

And if you didn't find a way to feel better then, are you likely to find a solution today with the same approach? This limits the enjoyment in your life! It's like repeating a series of wrong turns each time you get into your car and wondering why you never arrive at your destination!

When faced with challenges, rather than finding trying something different, we often repeat the same patterns of behaviour, just with even more determination!Which is a bit like shouting the same instructions louder if to a foreigner who doesn't understand.

Notice your thoughts. What are you going to do differently to break your old patterns now?

The difference between success and failure

2007-09-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

Do you realise how much your thinking affects your success?

A group of students were asked to imagine themselves as professors then answer some trivial pursuit questions; they got 56.6% right.

Another group were asked to imagine that they were football hooligans - they got 42.6%.

The two groups had the same ability. The only difference was that one was in 'smart' mode. And yet their thoughts were the difference between success and failure.